Probably the most ubiquitous mobile game since Flappy Bird, PokémonGo has taken over the phones and minds of millions overnight. Zombies can be seen everywhere, clutching their devices and scanning their surroundings to collect meager items and helplessly search for Pokémon. With 8 homescreen pages filled with games on my iPhone, many were surprised that I didn’t join their quest to be the best. But I’m telling you, it’s those 8 pages of mobile games that gives me the eye to see through PokémonGo for what it really is and knowing not to even bother downloading it.
Catching Pokémon in real life – this is the dream of any kid who grew up playing and watching the series. The future is literally here and it’s free and I can go outside right now and catch a hundred Pidgeys. But…that’s it. Hurling Poké Balls is the sole premise for this app. There’s no story, no fantastical worlds, no ultimate goal to achieve. The reason we loved Pokémon was for its universe – exploring strange countrysides and cities, battling other trainers and taking their money, besting gyms and earning badges. All that is gone. Now it’s been watered, filtered, and distilled down to walking around shady neighborhoods, finding ugly fountains, and hoping your car is slow enough to let you catch something.
I’ve watched my friends walk far and wide to get to Pokéstops, often past midnight. What do they return with? A few commons and a handful of items. I’m seeing constant disappointment and many tired legs. Kind of like gambling, as long as it gives you a little nudge every so often but not reward you with any jackpot, you’ll keep dragging yourself along hoping for the big one. Sure, it tricks you into going out and getting exercise, but I believe consciously making this lifestyle change and incorporating it into your routine will have wider and longer lasting benefits than sporadically doing it based on an impermanent game. (*wheezing after typing that sentence*)
With millions of people posting online soon after the game’s release, no doubt you’ve seen it all already. Your selfie to show how late at night it is, your screenshot of a Pokémon sitting on a person or a plate of food, you carelessly sharing your supposedly strong Pokémon right after someone else posted something even stronger – no one needs to see this a hundred times a day on their newsfeed. No one cares that you play because everyone’s busy telling others that they play.
Walking around and flinging balls at everything you see isn’t a skill you’d tell people you’re good at. It’s too easy, and there’s no sense of self improvement as you progress. Gym takeovers look alright but shortlived. All you get are cheap thrills here and there but no overall grand achievement.
There was a guy I sat next to on the bus who was constantly checking his phone and couldn’t keep it off for more than 20 seconds. I saw him stare blank-faced into his map finding nothing and occasionally scrolling through his collection just to exercise his thumbs a bit. Is it really a game if you just stare at your screen waiting for something to happen? Those who play should know that if you’re traveling too fast you won’t be able to get anything. But screw that, there might be an off chance that the bus will stop right next to a Mewtwo right? In the 40 minutes of him foolishly accomplishing nothing, I was able to spend the time silently judging him and formulating my hatred for this game.
From 100 to 0 in three hours, no thanks.
My conclusion – this game is fad. It hasn’t even been a week since its release and I think people will begin to notice how tiring it is. It’s fun and cool – I know it and I’m not saying that it’s not. But I see that it doesn’t offer much to the regular gamer other than inclusiveness and a little exercise. People will grow lazy of having to go out and constantly check their phones, realizing that after all that work you’re just stacked against millions of other players with the same collection.
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