It causes mental disease. It breaks apart families. It avoids detection from even the most advanced medical technology. Those are all things that hiccups don’t do.
But you’ve got the hiccups in the car now and your parents are super annoyed because you’re already super annoying and now you can’t stop hiccuping. You’ve tried holding your breath, you’ve tried thinking about unicorns, and you’ve tried sticking your thumb up your anus, but none of that is working. So it’s up to me to save your life.
Step one: Remember to focus as hard as you can to not hiccup. Make an effort (yeah, it will be your first time) to not make any sudden movements or breaths or thoughts that would cause you to hiccup. Focus is key throughout all this.
Step two: Take a deep breath in and fill your lungs, because you always do this before doing anything important.
Step three: Exhale EVERYTHING. Do you know what everything means?
Step four: This is the hardest step. Remember to focus on staying focused. Your lungs are still void of any air. Now swallow. Make sure its a nice, full swallow. You’re probably going to mess up this step like you messed up everything else, but I will forgive you. Start over and try again.
Great, now you’re magically cured of your hiccups. If it didn’t work it’s because you’re doing it wrong.
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