Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens – Review

She likes the sand.

I‘ve never been so excited for a movie’s release before. To see the return of Luke, Han, and Leia in The Force Awakens is every Star Wars fan’s dream. Which is why this film had to meet extremely high expectations – Star Wars has the most die-hard lifelong fans. In a great many ways, it made me shake with excitement with its gratuitous fanservice. But at the end it left me wringing my hands and searching for reasons why I still felt unsatisfied. It’s UNDOUBTEDLY a good movie – but for those who have been waiting decades for this sequel series may feel that the story fell flat, and maybe the saga should not have gone in this direction.

To put it simply, The Force Awakens is a rehashed version of A New Hope. You meet a force sensitive character on a desert planet and then blow up a giant laser destructo ball. With so many references to the prior films – repeated lines, paralleled plot points, and new versions of old characters, you can’t help but get the feeling that this is just a modernized regurgitation of the original trilogy. If the original trilogy didn’t exist, TFA would have been a really fantastic film. Since they both exist, TFA is still fantastic…but not the way you want it to be.

Rey’s father…the Wampa from Empire Strikes Back

Visually stunning, this is the best looking Star Wars film to date. Blaster shots actually look and sound powerful. The lightsaber duels are less acrobatic than the prequels, but have grittier and more realistic fighting styles. I preferred the flashy blade spinning though. It was just more exciting to see blaster shots deflected and heads chopped all in a single spinning jump move, as opposed to two people staring each other down for a whole minute with their blades locked.

Dialogue is ok but some of the poorly acted “humor” between characters is just plain terrible. For example, Poe Dameron’s initial face to face with Kylo Ren: “So who talks first? You talk first? I talk first? …It’s hard to understand with all the – (motions mask).” And Finn’s encounter with Captain Phasma: “The name’s Finn, and I’m in charge. I’m in charge now Phasma! I’m in charge!” with Han telling him to “bring it down, bring it down.” These scenes are what earned this movie the name “The Farce Awakens.” It’s not all poor comedic timing though – C-3PO’s intro was perfect.

SO WHO TALKS FIRST? YOU TALK FIRST? I TALK FIRST?

Unlike the prequels, where the story made our jaws drop but the films themselves were made poorly, The Force Awakens flips it upside down and presents an incredibly epic film with a lackluster plot. In the end, the movie will satisfy your Star Wars itch whether you liked it or not. This film gave us iconic characters with iconic moments, and that’s what Star Wars is made of.

“…and that’s what Star Wars is made of, BITCH!” – R2